


Thought I'd lost you

by StarsandSnow



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Competition, Drarry, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-30 12:37:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17224223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarsandSnow/pseuds/StarsandSnow
Summary: Christmas fanfic for @drarryfanfiction's Christmas fanfic competition. Harry is broken by the thought of losing his lover.





	Thought I'd lost you

**Author's Note:**

> Made by @alvaolvestad on Instagram!

~Harry's p.o.v~ 

I was sitting against the cold window again. Ever since that day I had. The small uncaring raindrops slowly made their way down the surface of the glass. Just like tears roll down your cheeks. In slowmotion I gave my legs a harder hug. If you would have searched for me you would find me in the corner of the window with my My legs curled up all the way to my face. Softly I put my head on my knees. I could feel how my eyes started to burn from the overflow of water. I tried to be strong, I really did but I couldn't. It had happened 4 days ago but it hurt just as much now as it did then. I had promised him to be strong. To continuing living my life, and to not cry. Well that promise was already broken. Angrily I wiped some falling tears off my cheek once again. But they just kept on falling and falling. I could feel that terrible feeling sneaking up to grab my heart again. Almost every day that "hand" grabbed my heart and punched and crushed it even more. The feeling was terrible but I still tried to be strong. For him. All of a sudden my sobbing became harsher and harsher until I started hyperventilate. My lungs moved faster and faster inside my chest as I tried not to think about him. I shaked so much that I almost fell of my window down to the dark brown wooden floor. Trembling with a heat inside of me I jumped down from the window. The heat soon bursted inside of me. "GAAAAAAHHHH" I shouted saliva getting everywhere. A nice big hole was forming in the walls. Small pieces of dust and wooden wall tingled down from the hole. Slowly I felt how my forehead touched the cold dark wallpaper as I broke down again. With trembling hands and fingera I gave the wall a small stroke with my fingertips. and remembered his touch. How he used to cup his mug gently with his long slender fingers when he drank tea or coffee. Or how I got butterflies in my stomach when he smiled or laughed his beautiful laugh. I did not want to think about him. But I just couldn't help it. He was, the love of my life. He was, and still is, the only person that I've loved that much. Never had I loved someone like I love him. Never. I sat on my knees now, crouching over them as my tears kept on flooding through my eyes. My whole was like a puffy red mess filled with sweat, tears and unbearable pain. The only thing I could think of was the day when I held his cold body in my hands. How he just laid there, not moving or breathing, completely lifeless.

~Throwback 4 days ago~

~The day~ Voldemort stood right in front of me. He was going to kill me, I knew it. My mother isn't here to save me this time. But this time I knew I had to offer myself to save all the others. They were more important than me. Especially him. I needed him to live. I had tried to talk to him, about me dying, but he didn't want to hear it. We had promised each other though. That whenever one of us pass away we will keep on living, keep on fighting and not cry. So when I heard the Dark lord yell out the words I just stood there abd closed my eyes. I knew he would kepp the promise, not the crying bit of it, but the rest of it. But the spell never hit me. I hadn't heard how he had threwn himself in front of me taking the hit. He had saved me. "NOOOO!" I had shouted in complete desperation as I heard surprised gasps in the background. This could not be happening! Vildemort looked even more shocked at my expression. Wasn't we supposed to be enemies he must have thought.  
I threw myself at the ground looking at the body with wild and concerned eyes. I didn't kniw what to do. The love of my life had saved me. With shaking hands I slowly lifted up his body to my knees. I hugged him so hard I could as I sat there, tears streaming down my face repeating the words " No, no, no, no...". I couldn't believe it. It was me who were supposed to die, not him! I just wagged from side to side, petting his head with trembling hands. His now messy platinum blonde hair felt sift against my fingertips. I suddenly remembered all the days we had fight and and all th days we had laughed together. Oh, his wonderful lips. I can't get enough of them. What they can do to me. All the feelings I get just from a single little kiss from him could give me, it's insane. But now I would never hear his laugh again. Never feel his soft lips against mine. Voldemort was going to pay. I took out my wand and pointed it towards him. Then I screamed the exact same thing he had did just a moment ago, but with so much more power. "AVADA KEDAVRAAA!" I could see how the dark lords body collapsed against the stone ground, just as lifeless as the love of my lifes. ~Back to reality~ I had killed voldemort that day,but nothing mattered when he were dead. When I couldn't feel his soft lips against mine or hear his silky and beautiful laugh again. I just sat there wiping away my tears while trying to comfort myself by hugging my legs.

I was so dehydrated that it felt like I had eaten sand. So at last I had to force myself up on unsteady legs, but just as I was going to walk to the kitchen and drink some water, I heard the familiar 'Click' of the door. And as I looked at the person who entered I couldn't believe my eyes. It was him. The man who dead just a few days ago, my soulmate... 

Draco Malfoy.

I choked on my breath as I falled to the ground with a loud thump. Shaking I looked up at the blonde boy with puffy red eyes. I could barely get the words out so much I shaked.

"D-Draco? A-Am I d-dreami-ming?" I stuttered out.

I could feel how I started to hyperventilate. My lungs moved faster and fatser within my chest and I just kind of panicked. My eyes were blurry from all the tears and I didn't know what to do wigh my hand so I just confusedly put them anywhere possible. In the air, on the floor,on my knees, yeah u know. He was here, and he was alive. I just couldn't believe it. I must be dreaming. So when he came up to me and started hugging me I fought with all the small powet I had left to get out of his silky warm embrace. I had gotten weaker as I baremy had eaten in days and stopped working out for a bit.

At last I had no power left so i slowly melted in to his arms. It was Draco's cologne, his body and his voice. But Draco is dead I reminded myself. It must be someone else. "Is it really you Draco?" I breathed out. Softly he kept on stroking my hair as he nodded and sighed. "I am truly sorry Harry. I wanted to come to you when I woke uo but it was impossible.

Slowly I lifted my head from his chest and looked at him with my emerald eyes. "What do you mean? Did you know you were gonna die and then be "reborn"? Why didn't you tell me?" I said feeling a flame slowly taking away in my stomach.

"Yes I did. I couldn't tell you. I really wanted to but I couldn't. You see I glt really mixed up with dark magic to be able to do this." He said soothingly and continued stroking my hair in soft movements. I nodded to say he could keep on telling. "I haf to take the lives of 3 different animals, cut out there hearts and then brew them in a potion for exactly 13 hpurs and 13 minutes. One minute later or sooner it would be destroyed. When I later drank it up I got kind of a "second chance" so if I died I would be "reborn" as u said." Draco told me as he looked at me with silver eyes. "Okay... I don't what to say... " I said slowly. "Please don't say anything then." He said and smirked at me with his grey eyes having a small fire lit up inside them. I threw myself at his lips. Feeling how he met me with the same passion and desire. I couldn't believe he was here. We kept on tasting each others mouth for a good couple of minutes before we finally broke apart. 

I looked up at him with a big grin. "Well I've missed this. Between what day is it?" I asked while cuddling up to his chest. Surprised he looked at me with wide eyes. "What do you mean? It's christmas you dumb man!" My eyes went wide as I realisdd it. "Oh shit you're right! But what am I going to do? I haven't shopped any presents to Ron or Hermione or..." I couldn't say anything more as a pale hand covered my mouth. "Pleade Harry, just be with me this christmas.... We need to catch up with each other." Slowsly I bodded as we began to talk about everything and nothing. This day couldn't get any better. 

~1 year later, 25th of December~

Laughing I slightly shook my head. Ron just made an awful joke, so awful that it actually became good. I felt like the luckiest man alive as I watched Draco slowly sip the wine as he listened to Hermiones speak. It was pretty amazing. Since we came out to them and tol them what had happened, Draco and Mione had became very good friends. I mean VERY very good friends. I heard his soft laugh and I quietly smiled to myself. I just couldn't get any happier. I had my friends and my soulmate right in front of me. Draco wore and dark purple, glittery turtle neck and tight black jeans. He tutned his face towards mine and smiled. I felt my cheeks turn red as I did the same. Then i went back to talking to Ron and Blaise. After a while we finally decided to begin the present change. It started off with Pansy giving Draco a dark green sweater with a small dragon emblem on the chest. He smiled and gave her the biggest hug. "Thanks Pans! I love it." "You're welcome." She said with a smile. Then I saw Ron coming in to the circle holding a small package in his hands. "Ehm... Mione? This if for you..." he said now just as red as a tomato."Thank you Ron." She said with a smile. She opened up the small box and in it you cpuld see a necklace with a small heart on it. And when you opened the heart you could see a small pic of Ron and Hermione and on the other side the initials "R + M”. 

She gasped and put her hand in front of her mouth. "Ron! It's beautiful!" She said shaking and wet eyes. "Really?" He said and looked up at her with a small smile. "Yes! I love it." She said and gave him a big bear hug. It just kept going and going until there were nothing left except for something Draco hid behind his back. Slowly He made his way to me on the couch. "Close your eyes, Harry." He said smoothly with lightly pink cheeks. "Okay..." I said uncertainly raising my left eyebrow. I heard how he shuffled beneath and I snickered. At last I felt how one of his hand slowly youched my knee. I heard how he inhaled deeply before he said "you can open them now". Slowly I ooened my eyes. And what I saw made me speechless. Everyone in the room held in their breaths as I looked down at Draco. In his right hand he held a small box with a ring in it. The ring was like nothing I had ever seen before. It had a small emblem of the infinite symbol and and had the initials "D + M" on the inside as I took up the ring. I felt how small drops of tears rolled down my cheeks as I got stuck on my breath. I put my hand in front of my mouth as I slowly looked up at Draco. He had began to shake as he slowly inhaled deeply and looked at me with fearful eyes. "Harry James Potter, will you marry me?" He said and looked at me hopefully. "Yes! Yes a fuckin million times yes!" I said as I threw myself at him. I could feel how everyone exhaled and started to clap to this. Slowly we broke from the hug and he cupped my face in his hands. "I love you..." He whispered while putting our forehead together. " I love you too." I said with a shaking voice. 

I just couldn't believe it. Hermione sat on the couch woth Ron and wiped away her tears while hugging her husband. We just sat there for a while before slowly cathing up with the clock. The clock was already 12 at the night. As we walked out from Ron's and Hermione's house we gugged all the way to the car. When I heard the soft sound of the engine starting I looked out the window. I am the happiest man alive I thought before we started to roll down the street. I smiled as I softly laid my head on the window and fell asleep.


End file.
